The only gay in the library

Well it's that time of year - time for the delayed by snow work Christmas party. I approached the party decision with a fair amount of trepidation. Colleagues were either wildly over enthusiastic or "I'm not going to a library party ever again". Unfortunately all of my team fell into the latter category. Undaunted by this, I felt it was necessary to sample the party for myself, I signed up, I had promises from non team colleagues that they would talk to me, what's the worst that could happen.

The evening arrived, the clean shirt was donned, and we were off down the road to the City Hall for the festivities. Upon arrival it was a nice touch to see a red carpet by the door. It wasn't so good to see a police car and an ambulance, blimey these Sheffield librarians obviously know how to get a party started, it was barely 7.15 pm. Fortunately the emergency vehicles were completely unrelated.

Drinks at the bar were very pleasant, we all clinked glasses and said Happy Christmas and Happy New Year in the spirit of the Christmas party. Then it was the dash to the tables in the ballroom. As far as I could tell, the objective was not to sit with the big boss, it's the same at every library party I've ever been to! Mission accomplished, seated with some lovely people, pleasant chatter ensued, a great evening. We had crackers to pull, stupid hats to wear, and even party poppers to pop. The candelabras on the tables with burning red candles was a nice touch, as was the bottles of wine on each table.

We drank, we were merry, we collected our Christmas dinner from the carvery, I'm fairly confident they hadn't just frozen the food from the cancelled date, the vegetables looked and tasted fairly fresh to me!

Then on came the 'entertainment'. This was a Russian (fake) accented bloke - Madame Galina - in a white tutu, who proceeded to do a ballet routine around the ballroom, pretty good, then came the audience participation. Asking people to help with his routine, he saw all the party poppers and mentioned it was like a gay club. Then he wanted to out all the gays, and asked all the gays to put their hands up. Me being a nice compliant girl, I dutifully raised my hand before I could think. Guess what - I was the only one! Madame then insulted my shirt, and I'd accidentally outed myself to the entire library - not that I mind, but it is my best shirt.

It's virtual love

The TomTom situation

We were driving to a friend's place in Marsden in the south Pennines, we decided to use the TomTom instead of the traditional trusted map. Off we set. The journey was without incident down to the bottom of the road. 'Jane' talked us through the junctions (I think Leanne has a crush on her).

It was well into our journey that the first altercation happened. Jane said "turn left" Leanne said "I'm not doing that, I want to go this way. Ahh - woops, maybe Jane was right." This happened several times throughout the journey. I actually found it quite reassuring - it isn't just my directions that Leanne ignores, she disregards the sat nav's as well. I'm beginning to warm to that Jane.

The Wii affair

We have been putting the Wii fit to good use, and I may have developed a crush on my personal trainer. What is it with us and these virtual chicks? If you were a passer-by and happened to look in and see one of us seemingly doing demented penguin impressions (in a vague attempt at one of the balance challenges), would you call an ambulance? Perhaps you should. Maisie is of course the best at EVERYTHING, but we are enjoying it and its helping with shedding pounds from the excess Christmas treat consumption.

The dog is really, not virtually, in love with sitting in front of the fire in his pyjamas - wonder where he gets that from?

Eating, drinking and being merry

We gave and received gifts, we visited old folk, we prepared vegetables, we made the table look like it was fit for a Duke and Duchess, we ate rather more food than was comfortable, we drank a little alcohol, and we watched the Christmas specials on the TV. A very good Christmas was had by all.

Ding Dong Merrily on High

Oh the frenzy of pre Christmas panic buying - I have a solution - get a heavy cold the last day of work. Maisie has the flu, and I have been struck down with a cold - sniff. It has meant lying on the sofa watching kids movies - what a shame. Leanne and Mum went off the Chatsworth for another look at the Russian Christmas, leaving Maisie and me with a sofa each, three packets of lockets (throat sweets) and the tv remote within easy reach.

The table is set and the goose is well and truly fat (well, not a goose exactly, but there's a nice piece of beef defrosting in the kitchen.) I'm hopeful our table will look like the one at Chatsworth. Thanks to Leanne for the photos. (There are no photos of my red nose, but I can assure you that I do look like Rudolph!)

We are all ready for Christmas, Maisie is excited, I'm excited, everyone is excited, there's plenty of sherry in the bottle and boxing day sale adds are on the TV - it must be Christmas eve….is that sleigh bells I can hear?

Happy Christmas All - I'm off to don my gay apparel

How not to buy a Christmas Tree

We need a tree. It's always a bone of contention, I like to put one up on Christmas Eve, Leanne likes to get her money's worth, and Maisie wasn't feeling Christmassy as ALL her friends have theirs up. Two against one - a compromise - the week before Christmas sounds good.


We had two choices - Longshaw the local National Trust place up the road - or Steve's down the road. Up the road offered the advantage of a nice dog walk through national trust winter wonderland - well, snow on trees.

On arrival the parking guy said it's free parking if you buy a tree- and you get a cup of tea and a mince pie - lovely. Off we traipsed to the tree buying area. All went well until we saw the prices, there must be some cheaper ones somewhere. In search of the bargain tree, I think I spotted one, when the dog comes along and pees on it.

I have to say, when you are after a bargain, and are preparing to beat the tree selling guy down to a fair price, your dog coming up and peeing on the merchandise is not a particularly good starting place.

Needles to say, the tree selling guy was on the verge of rudeness and not in any mood to be beaten down in price. Oh well, off to Steve's down the road, leaving the bargain tree surrounded by yellow snow for the next lucky tree purchaser.

We went for a quick walk anyway, blagged our way past the parking attendant and set off.

Steve had a very informative sign 'No Dogs' - how sensible. He also had a lovely bright red tree sticking out of the pile of now grey snow at the side of the road.

We got a lovely tree, perfect for our purposes, and at the fraction of the price of the ones up the road - and the pièce de résistance was it didn't stink of dog wee - win win.

We escaped

I got up with a determination to get to work, with the idea that the 9.45am train would be the way to do it. All I needed to do was dig the car out. I started at 8 am, I dug, I dug some more, I encountered all the snow the plough had compacted into the side of the car, and the -8 temperatures had turned to ice, at 9.15 am I had the back wheel on the drivers side clear. I phoned work to say it was unlikely I would be in.

With renewed determination fuelled by caffeine and toast, and my Mums help, we set too again and cleared the car. By 10.40 it was free! Cars were travelling gingerly up and down the road, so we thought we would give it a go. Down the road to the Spar, milk, bread, some grit and a few logs for the fire and we were away. Stunning country side. These photos from my phone.

No sledging today, I ache in places you shouldn't from sitting on that dam piece of moulded plastic and propelling myself at speed down a slippery slope.

Day three in the snowed-in house

Well - the photos of Maisie are great!

I look like one of santa's not-so-little helpers, with rosy red cheeks.

Leanne's snow angel experience was not so good, the snow perhaps a little too thick. Looked more like a snow accident than angel.

We have the run down to a fine art now. Only parted company with the sledge a few times.

Inside now in the toasty warm, enjoying a hot coffee with a hint* of rum. More rosy cheeks!

*Editor's note; for 'hint', please read big slosh! - L